


Music is One of the Most Powerful Things in the World.

by Lesbian_Writings



Series: Music has a Way of Speaking to the Soul. [1]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bands, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Long hair benrey real, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, band au, the roombas homophobic but its okay cause hes very lovable, tommy can have a little bit of poly as a treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24447685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesbian_Writings/pseuds/Lesbian_Writings
Summary: Gordon and Benrey are lead singers of separate bands who hate each other. But things can change. And music has a way of speaking to the soul.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Darnold/Forzen (Half-Life), Tommy Coolatta/Darnold, Tommy Coolatta/Darnold/Forzen, Tommy Coolatta/Forzen
Series: Music has a Way of Speaking to the Soul. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909426
Comments: 57
Kudos: 267





	1. Linkin Park. Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> I made an AU!!!!!!! I'd like to thank everybody in the HLVRAI discord server I'm in for being as hype about this as I am. I'd like to thank pogbenrey on Tumblr specifically for yelling with me about this AU!!!!! I also have an HLVRAI blog on Tumblr called gordosfeetman feel free to ask me things over there!!! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

It wasn’t Gordon’s idea to make a band. He had honestly never planned for this. But here he was. In an actual recording studio with a proper mic and sound pad in front of him instead of his old and busted laptop, using his gaming headset to record and a soundboard he pirated to make okay at best music, with poems he had written as a hobby. But here he was in an actual studio with an actual producer and his friends with him. It was wonderful. 

Gordon had always claimed he wasn’t the best at singing but when you’re interning at a radio station and you quietly sing to yourself as a habit and way to calm down sometimes you expect to be absolutely roasted but instead, people compliment you and encourage you to pursue music which is not what you’re used to. 

Gordon’s parents had pushed him towards a STEM field. It’s not like he was against it he did enjoy science and that stuff but it was hard to find work and he couldn’t keep up his grad. He always ended up relying on music and that’s how he ended up at that radio station. It’s how he got through most of school. There is a certain irony in loving music but not being able to play an instrument. He’s well aware of that but the friends he met at the radio station could all play instruments. Coomer first mentioned that he and Bubby had played together in a band in their youth but that their rock and roll days weren’t behind them and Tommy mentioned that he was really good at keytar and Coomer suggested they make a band. Tommy and Bubby had been on board from the start but it took Gordon a couple of sessions before he was convinced. Coomer and Bubby had their knowledge from their previous band experience and Tommy and Gordon worked on promoting their music and they had actually blown up.

After a while, that’s how he got here. To a proper studio with a whole band. They recorded a whole album, filled with different songs that all of them had written so there was a little something for everybody. The producer would get their feedback on how they sounded, and then they’d be published. The Science Team- that’s what they called their band since they all had a background in science. 

They went to a nearby bar after recording to celebrate. While Gordon was buying the next round of drinks for everybody a guy he had never seen before but looked somewhat familiar slid up next to him. He had extremely long, extremely fluffy looking, and shaggy but well maintained black hair and a hoodie on but he couldn’t read what it said. Gordon didn’t care really as he waited for the bartender but apparently the man next to him did care. 

Gordon was sitting on a stool, scrolling through social media before the guy tapped him on the shoulder and he looked his way. The guy had some face paint on in the shape of a shadow and a couple of piercings the first ones that really stood out to Gordon was his nose piercings and his snake bites but the eyebrow piercing he had didn’t escape him either. 

“Hey man uhh, I’m Benrey.” Benrey stuck his hand out for a handshake and Gordon could read what his hoodie said now. Black mesa. That sounded familiar. Gordon shook his hand as he put his phone away. “I’m Gordon.” he gave a pleasant smile and the man in front of him smiled back. At least that’s what he assumed it was. But he did notice that his teeth were sharp. Which was definitely weird but Gordon decided to overlook it. 

“So Gordon… Come here often?” Benrey almost looked a little shy. Wait was Gordon being flirted with? He decided to hold off on any assumptions but it wasn’t like the man in front of him was the worst looking. He was hot. In like a rat kinda way. Benrey wasn’t greasy looking but he definitely wasn’t put together.

“No, not really. I’m here celebrating with my bandmates we just got done recording our first album.” Gordon was still really excited to say that. Benrey nodded and looked Gordon up and down briefly. “Oh cool, what’s your band’s name? I just might check them out.” Gordon smiled brightly and gave Benrey his band’s name and where their less professional music was until their first real album came out but got interrupted by the bartender giving him all his drinks where he gave Benrey a possible goodbye and headed back to his table where Coomer and Bubby teased him for a bit before they all went back to having a normal conversation.

Every now and then when Gordon would look back at the bar and see that Benrey was still there, not really talking to anyone else except two people who kept coming back and who seemed to be friendly with him. Eventually, Gordon excused himself from his group with his drink to go sit with Benrey. “Hey man. It was Benrey, right? You seemed kinda lonely so I thought I’d stop by.” 

Benrey looked up from his drink at Gordon with a small… Smirk? It wasn’t obvious just what it was but Benrey looked pleased as Gordon spoke again. “I didn’t get to ask you why you were here earlier. Of course, you don’t need a reason but I noticed that you seemed to have some friends who kept coming to chat with you-” Benrey cut him off with a chuckle. “Wow been watching me have you? Creep.” Gordon froze and paled before trying to come up with an excuse and was once again cut off by Benrey but this time lightly smacking his shoulder. “Calm down Gordon. I’m just messing with ya. But yeah I’m here with my bandmates too, those are the dudes who kept talking to me. We’re not celebrating anything though. We’re just hanging out but it looks like we came on a great night.” 

The two talked for a while longer, making decent conversation, mostly about music, and basic stuff until Gordon shushed Benrey to listen to what song was playing on the bar speakers before he gasped and grinned. “They’re playing Linkin Park! Man, I love those guys! Their music’s so good.” Benrey made a face in response to that before he said something that absolutely killed Gordon.

“Bro Linkin Park sucks. It’s just early 2000’s edgy for the sake of being edgy garbage.” Benrey scoffed and took a sip of his drink. Gordon looked personally offended. “They’re good! You just don’t have good taste.” Benrey snickered and rolled his eyes. “I think the one who doesn’t have taste here is you.” 

This continued before the rest of The Science Team was ready to leave and a fairly drunk Bubby got Gordon to drive them home. 

Gordon was the designated driver since the band had taken his car to get to the studio so as he piled his friends in and began the drive Coomer politely asked Gordon to drop him and Bubby off first which was fine. Bubby and Coomer sat in the back seat and Tommy sat in the passengers. Tommy and Coomer were fine but unfortunately, Bubbby is a grumpy old man who was currently making fun of Gordon for leaving them to hang out with that guy at the bar. 

Gordon quickly gets tired of that and turns on one of his playlists since he had his phone hooked up to the blue tooth in his car and the first song that played shut Bubby right up and instead had the old man focused on yelling/singing all of Bohemian Rhapsody. Including instrumentals. It was infinitely entertaining to everybody in the car but sadly Gordon couldn’t record it as he was driving.

Later they made it to Coomer and Bubby’s apartment, bid them well, and began the drive to Tommy’s place. Speaking of him he was asleep with his head on the window so he turned the radio down and drove in silence. 

It was nice. He was alone with his thoughts for once. Fuck that guy at the bar. He’d still check out his music and everything if only just to see how bad he was. It had to be awful considering that the guy hated Linkin Park. Which despite what that dude said did objectively go hard.

Okay, so Gordon was home now and watching various clips from the small shows that Black Mesa did and the band was awful just like he suspected. Okay, they actually weren’t that bad some of their music was good. Some.

He was probably making a mountain out of a molehill but he still didn’t like the guy. His smug energy just got on Gordon’s nerves. Plus the dude was full of himself he could. He always took his shirt off and played up the pretty boy act a lot. Of course, that makes sense on stage. Having a thing doesn’t make you a bad person but having a thing where you’re full of yourself was definitely something to be careful with. 

Whatever it was late and Gordon needed to get to bed. It’s been a long day and he deserves some rest. But he can’t stop thinking about Benrey. Something about him seemed so familiar. Gordon guessed it was because of his band, he’d probably heard about them a little before from someone else.

As Gordon laid his head down for the night he couldn’t get Benrey’s face out of his head. He didn’t know why and honestly was too tired to really think about it. So he fell asleep quickly and slept peacefully.


	2. Gay ass.

It was Saturday evening and Gordon was out. He’d prefer to be at home right now but Tommy said he’d pay for Gordon’s drinks if he went with sooooo here Gordon is in a dive bar, sitting with Tommy at a table while his boyfriends’ band performs. And Gordon’s current least favorite person is the lead singer and bassist. He wasn’t paying attention to the music and was more so paying attention to his phone, only really looking up when Tommy did a hand sign and the guitarist and drummer did it back when their hands were free. He did have to admit that Darnold was good at guitar and Forzen was really good on drums. He tried to focus on that instead of any of the bass lines or the lyrics themselves. Basically, everything Benrey did.

As he was looking up from his phone to watch the happy triple do their little sign he accidentally locked eyes with Berney and time almost seemed to slow as they stared at each other before Benrey brushed his bangs to the side and leaned into the audience and winked at Gordon, showing off his teeth and letting his tongue slide over them which Gordon did notice was split like a snake’s and pierced. Then just went back to casually performing, seeming to put a little more effort into it now. 

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Did Gordon just get fucking winked at? By the guy he hates? This is obviously his way of showing off. What the fuck. Also what was up with his tongue? That had to be a body mod. 

After the show, Black Mesa came and sat with Gordon and Tommy. Of course, Forzen and Darnold wanted to sit with their boyfriend so they all sat next to each other which left Gordon sitting next to Benrey. Gordon sighed and finished his… Hold on… Uhhh… Fifth? Fifth drink of the night? He had been drinking water in between because even if Tommy was driving he didn’t want to get shit faced tonight. It just wasn’t the night. But if he had to hang out with Benrey it might just become the night. 

“Maybe your taste in music doesn’t suck as much as I first thought if you came here tonight.” Benrey’s smug aura oozed into his words and managed to get on every single one of Gordon’s nerves. Gordon just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I’m not here for you. Tommy didn’t wanna come alone.” Benrey faked looking hurt as Gordon glanced at him. “Oh, woe is me. Gordon Freeman doesn’t like I’m more musically talented than him.” Benrey watched Gordon who wasn’t looking at him at all and was instead just staring out into the bar’s seating area. Benrey rolled his eyes and decided to chat with everybody else while Gordon did his own thing.

Eventually, Gordon joined in on the conversation, trying to be pleasant with Benrey for Tommy’s sake. Benrey and Tommy were friends and Gordon and Tommy were friends and it’d probably stress Tommy out to see two of his friends not getting along. And Tommy didn’t deserve that stress. So Gordon could put on a pleasant face for a bit. Benrey wasn’t as concerned so he was still trying to get a rise out of Gordon but he didn’t give him the satisfaction of even a glance.

As Benrey unlocked his apartment and went in, his Roomba that he had affectionately named The Skeleton and painted a little shitty skull on the top of it beeped as Benrey closed the door behind himself and gave a little hello to The Skeleton as he went into the kitchen and heated up a little freezer meal as a snack before he crashed. He followed the directions and while he was waiting for the microwave to go off he checked his phone, scrolling aimlessly until he found something he didn’t expect. Gordon had apparently done an interview as a way to promote his band’s new album. He tapped the video And watched it as his mac and cheese spun in the microwave.

A couple of hours later and Benrey had fallen down a rabbit hole of videos about Gordon Freeman. That prick just rubbed him the wrong way. He seemed too good to be true. With his dumb fuckin’ undercut and the fact, he’d sometimes braid his hair to show it off. Hella cringe dude. His audience seemed to think that he was cute which wasn’t entirely wrong but like so boring. 

When Benrey stopped hate-binging any content involving Gordon it was late and decided to just stay up a little longer. At least until The Skeleton started using his sweet voice, which was just making fucked up noises cause Benrey dropped him when he first got him but The Skeleton still worked fine. Either way, The Skeleton was not pleased with him. So Benrey decided that he could just be awake in bed at least. The Skeleton was very human for being a vacuum robot but Berney loved him anyway.

So now Benrey laid awake in bed at like 3 AM, definitely not thinking about Gordon as he scrolled through various apps and one of The Science Team’s songs was definitely not stuck in his head and he totally wasn’t humming it quietly. He stopped looking at his phone for a minute to laugh quietly to himself as he remembered Gordon’s face when he winked at him during the show earlier. Gordon looked so surprised. He also didn’t look away for a while. 

Oh, now he had inspiration. Benrey wouldn’t be going to sleep for a while as he got up and stepped over the various pile of clothes of varying degrees on clean to get to his desk and sat down to handwrite the lyrics. Tomorrow Benrey could decipher this and make it an actual song but for now, it was just writing. Pure stream of consciousness.

And after a while or writing various poems it was a pure stream of unconsciousness as the sun rose but Benrey was asleep at his desk, pen in mouth and The Skeleton disappointed in him. The worst kind of disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love The Skeleton and legally you do to :)   
> the chapter name is because I sent some friends a sneak peak of my writing and all of them said "gay ass" so fhuygtfhukdflns


	3. Coomer you fuckin' sap.

It’s been a while since Tommy dragged Gordon to his first Black Mesa show but now it was Benrey’s turn to be dragged to a Science Team concert. Like, an actual proper concert with a venue and stuff and not just a stage at a bar. Tommy got Benrey, Forzen, and Darnold tickets and backstage passes though since two of them are dating him and one is their best friend who gets to fourth wheel. But whatever. Free entertainment. Benrey gets to watch Gordon embarrass himself on stage by being a worse performer than him. 

This place was lame anyway. Didn’t even have a mosh pit set up. It was fairly roomy and most of the seats did seem to be fairly packed though and from what Benrey heard, people not even in their fanbase enjoyed their music. Not like he was one of them.

The concert began like most would with The Science Team coming out, the crowd screaming, whatever. But the music was actually pretty good as much as Benrey hated to admit it. Especially some of the slower songs where it was easy to tell that Gordon had poured his heart into the lyrics. But the more upbeat and lighter songs where Gordon was bouncing around on stage and having fun with his band definitely added to the experience. Plus it was easy to tell that all of the band had helped on songs as they each fit one of the band member’s looks.

Gordon had looked over to where Black Mesa was sitting and Benrey had to pretend like he wasn’t interested. In between songs when the band needed a quick break Gordon kept the crowd going with little questions like how was everyone and were they enjoying the show. He made a comment about getting warm and considering taking his shirt off and someone from the crowd yelled for him to do it but after he took a swig of water just chuckled and said that nobody would want that and Benrey almost felt a little cheated. 

During one of their more hardcore songs Gordon seemed to make dead eye contact with Benrey and looked all too smug as Benrey looked away quickly and huffed to himself to which he got a nudge from Forzen. 

The concert felt like it ended all too soon but Black Mesa did have backstage passes so backstage they went. Forzen was about to start arguing with one of the guards about letting the three of them pass to see the actual band but before Forzen could get them kicked out entirely and embarrass Darnold, Tommy poked his head out and his face lit up seeing his boyfriends and best friend and told the guard not to worry about them and the three got through. 

Forzen gave a smug look to the guard as Tommy lead them to where everybody was hanging out until it was actually time for them to see people with passes. Tommy got some affection from his boyfriends that Benrey just kinda rolled his eyes at in an affectionate matter. All his friends were happy. And that’s cool as hell man. 

The three of them went to do their own thing which left Benrey with Gordon, Coomer, and Bubby. He decided to play it cool and just kinda stand off to the side, messing around on his phone. Eventually, Coomer and Bubby also left to do their own thing, smiling to themselves and it just left Gordon and Benrey alone backstage. 

Gordon looked exhausted. He was sweaty and the hair that wasn’t in the ponytail he had put up clung to the back of his neck. He looked over at Benrey who quickly looked back at his phone and mumbled something.

“What was that?” Gordon watched him and Benrey cleared his throat and spoke again. “I said you look like shit.” Gordon rolled his eyes and took his cold water bottle and pressed it to his forehead and closed his eyes with a deep sigh and something to it that suggested he was tired from more than being on stage. Benrey looked him up and down as he heard laughing from the next room over. 

Benrey soon decided he was tired of standing and wanted to sit down. So he did. He sat on the opposite side of the couch that Gordon was on and tried to be as far from him as possible. It was just the two of them, chilling before Gordon had to leave and actually meet people with passes. While thinking all of this he hadn’t noticed he was staring at Gordon until Gordon spoke up he came back to reality and realized that Gordon seemed different without a leather jacket. Like he was more vulnerable. 

“Huh?” Benrey looked at Gordon who groaned and rolled his eyes. “I asked you why you were staring at me.” It took no time for Benrey to get a comeback to that one. “Cause you’re ugly.” Gordon just rolled his eyes again and shook his head.

Whatever. That leather jacket thing was a dumb thought. This whole train of thought was dumb and made no sense. But Benrey continued to sit there with Gordon in silence. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t tense either. It was perfectly neutral. Or about as neutral as it could get sitting alone in a room on a couch with the lead singer of the band you hate.

Later while The Science Team was out it was just Black Mesa chatting since nobody had kicked them out and the group said that they’d be back. They were talking about the show and Benrey would occasionally chime in with his thoughts on why Gordon sucked that the other two would give him a look that he wouldn’t understand and they’d move on. Benrey actually ended up taking a nap. He just laid next to the coffee table and fell asleep. It always would surprise Forzen and Darnold how Benrey could sleep just about anywhere but a bed. 

Benrey was awake before The Science team came back and Tommy apologized for how long it took and Forzen and Darnold brushed it off and Benrey just gave a shrug as everybody slowly settled into hanging out and just talking. At some point, Benrey and Gordon get into it over nothing. 

Coomer looks from Benrey and Gordon, down at his wedding ring, then to Bubby and his ring with a small and fond smile before Bubby nudges him. “What are you thinking about you big sap?” Bubby’s tone wasn’t mean at all, if anything it’s loving and as Coomer rests his head on his husband’s shoulder with a sigh and watches Gordon and Benrey. “Remember when we were like that? All young and full of energy to argue about absolutely nothing with all the passion in the world?” 

Bubby held Coomer’s hand and gives his own minuscule smile and nodded. “Yes, I do.” Bubby paused and thought. “You think they’re like us don’t you?” Coomer chuckled softly and nodded. “Yes, I suppose I do. Don’t you professor?” Coomer teased as Bubby rolled his eyes and corrected him. “I can see why you think that. We were both dumb and oblivious and pretended to hate each other. But they’re different.” Coomer looked up at Bubby curiously. “How so?”

“They’re stupid. And are the leads. And of two different bands. Which makes their stupidity even more entertaining to watch.” Coomer laughed as quietly as he could and lightly smacked Bubby’s chest who held back a small grunt. “You’re right. Can’t wait to see how they’ll end up.” The two old men watched the two singers’ argument and Tommy try and get them to calm down to no avail and soon gave up to just watch as Forzen occasionally popped in to keep the stupidity of their pointless argument going.

Soon everybody went home and the backstage area that had once been lively was now eerily silent. Just like Gordon’s apartment. It was just him as he entered, exhausted from a multitude of things, and as he stretched he groaned and sat down on the couch. Which after a while he moved to be laying on the couch. Gordon began to quickly drift off to sleep and the last thing he remembers thinking about is a potential lyric for some new songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are honestly lucky I didn't make this sad cause that was something I was considering. Sharp left turn into angst town. But I wont that's for later :) as always I have my hlvrai blog if you want it: gorodosfeetman feel free to talk to me I don't bite


	4. Having emotions isn't an epic gamer moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this chapter is a bit longer! and I'm so happy everybody's enjoying the au!! if you post any art on Tumblr tag me!! my hlvrai blog is gordosfeetman and I reblog almost all the art I see and tag it with hlvrai band au!!!

Benrey was staring in the mirror and applying his show makeup, which was just a shadow over his eyes, as Darnold tuned his guitar, and Forzen sat with him, humming and tapping out a beat on his lap with his hands. The show was starting in a little over ten minutes and all the boys were dressed and ready or almost ready. Benrey fussed with his hair for a bit and made sure his make up was solid and that he looked good. Everything looked to be ready and Tommy had brought Gordon along once again for the show as he had told Darnold and Forzen.

Benrey stretched and made sure he was nice and limber. He was planning on doing something new onstage. He had already done his vocal warm-ups, tuned his bass, stored his hearing aids away, and was now just waiting for the show to start since he was on vocal rest. But unfortunately, Forzen had made it his life’s goal since childhood to make fun of Benrey. 

“So how about Gordon huh? I know Tommy brings him along cause he doesn’t wanna come alone which is fair but uh Benrey you sure seem to stare at him a lot when we perform.” Frozen knew about Benrey’s hearing so he spoke up as he stared at Benrey who opened his mouth to respond and quickly shut it. 

Frozen snickers as he nudges Darnold who chuckles softly and nods, also raising his voice a tad for his friend to hear him. “He does have a point, Ben. You do wink at him when you know he’s looking at you. It’s hard not to notice. Fans have even been commenting on it.” Frozen kissed Darnold’s cheek. “See? You say you hate him but I’m not sure that’s the case.” Benrey furrowed his brows and pulled out his phone and texted them both. “fuck you. i hate him. that motherfucker thinks hes soooo much better than me. he thinks hes a better performer than me. im determined to prove him wrong.” It only made Forzen laugh which died down before they had to go onstage. 

As they walked on Benrey lightly punched Forzen’s shoulder who only gave a quiet chuckle. They got in their proper places as the lights went up and the audience roared. Benrey did a bit of crowd work before they really began the show.

Benrey bounced on the beat as he sang his heart out for the crowd who ate it all up with the veracity of a pack of stray dogs finding a dead squirrel in an alley. He didn’t mind though. It’s something he enjoyed even. His favorite part was seeing people’s faces as he screams to the muffled beating of drums and softened shouting along of the crowd. The song where he would be unveiling his new move was coming up. He knew it. And he didn’t miss his cue. It was time to show off something he’d been preparing for a bit now.

Gordon sat with Tommy in the audience. There was a mosh pit set up but that wasn’t either of their scenes. Tommy sang along to the songs and as much Gordon hated to admit it some of their songs were really good and it was obvious that Benrey put a lot of care into them. 

But what was Benrey doing now? Benrey had turned around with his back to the audience and continued playing his bass during a part of the song where he didn’t need to sing and- HOLY SHIT.

Benrey had somehow bent backward with his head almost on the stage, his hair trailing from his head in beautiful dark waves to pool on the floor as he continued playing and just smirked like he knew exactly what he was doing to everybody in the audience and looked at Gordon who couldn’t pull his eyes away and winked. Winked at Gordon. That wink was meant for Gordon specifically and both of them knew it. Gordon felt his breath catch in his throat and his face and ears warm slightly as he stared, the image of Benrey bending backward in a way that humans shouldn’t be able to and winking at him planted itself firmly in his mind. 

Gordon almost couldn’t hear or process anything around him as he stared at Benrey. It was just like that night at the bar again but amplified to an absurd amount. The way the light hit him and perfectly accentuated his piercings, fangs, and makeup made it almost felt like a painting. It seemed too beautiful and perfect to be real. This moment in time would forever remain rooted in Gordon’s brain and he wasn’t too sure he ever wanted it out.

Benrey held the pose for a while before he brought himself back up as the song got closer to a point where he needed to sing. He looked out into the crowd, listening to the muffled screams and applause as he looked for someone in particular. Gordon. Gordon caught Benrey’s eye and from where he was onstage he was fairly sure he could see that Gordon’s face was red and his mouth was open. Benrey gave a smug smile as he sang and turned his attention back to the rest of the audience. 

Gordon almost hoped the concert would never end but unfortunately as Black Mesa wrapped up their final song of the night and wished everybody a good night and headed backstage Gordon and Tommy went for the exit. Black Mesa had returned the favor of getting them backstage passes but Gordon suddenly felt like he couldn’t do anymore. He was weak in the knees and the image of Benrey bending like he had and staring at him lived on the back of his eyelids. So he told Tommy he doesn’t feel like doing more tonight and could catch a cab home. 

And that’s exactly what Gordon did. When Gordon got home it hit him that that backbend wasn’t just to show off for the audience. It was a challenge. Gordon groaned and realized that he’d have to somehow do better than that. His next show wasn’t for a while so he had some time to think something up. He looked at the setlist for the concert to try and get a feel for when whatever he was going to do should happen. Gordon sat on his couch and racked his brain for ideas and possibilities as he planned out the finer details.

About two months after the Black Mesa concert The Science Team was hanging out backstage before they needed to go onstage. Bubby was tuning his guitar, Tommy was checking the keys on his keytar, Coomer made sure he has spare sticks just in case, and Gordon was doing vocal warmups away from the group in a different room since he considered them embarrassing. While he away from the group he also took the time to stretch and practice his trick to make sure he had his move down. Don’t think he forgot Benrey’s little stunt at his last concert. Once he felt confident in both his stunt and his voice it was 5 minutes until they had to hit the stage.

As The Science Team walked on stage there was plenty of applause and cheers which made Gordon even more excited for what he had planned. Gordon did crowd work as the rest of the band got in their spots and ready. As soon as everybody was ready and Coomer’s count began the show really started.

Gordon walked and danced around the stage as he sang like he normally did, leaning into Tommy’s mic occasionally and pretending to bug other members of the band, who pretended to be annoyed in turn. For the more serious songs, he always poured his heart into those performances just as much as he did when he wrote the lyrics and didn’t really move from the mic stand and held it so tight his knuckles almost hurt. 

The time he had been planning for months soon approached. As everybody did their instrumentals Gordon moved the mic stand out of the way and put on a mask of false confidence as he pulled his hair out of its ponytail and made brief eye contact with Benrey.

Benrey was very intently watching the concert. He just couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away and he had to admit that as much as he hated the guy the energy that came off Gordon and his bandmates as they performed filled the venue and made it a good show. But wait what was Gordon doing now? Why was he moving things and taking his hair down?

It was a blink and you’ll miss it type moment but right on time with the beat of the song, Gordon did a backflip. Which was impressive enough as is since he didn’t even need a running start. Gordon just went from standing to in the air to standing again. Needless to say, Gordon fucking nailed it. But what happened afterward was easily the best part that absolutely knocked it out of the park for Benrey. Gordon’s head was down but as he finished the flip so his hair was hanging in front of his face and Benrey felt time slow down as Gordon flipped his hair up and Gordon stared right at Benrey and smirked, looking all too proud of himself and suddenly Benrey understood.

The audience was nearly deafening but Benrey had his hearing aids turned down so he could better focus on what the fuck just happened. That was obviously for Benrey since he looked at him before and after- was Gordon responding to his backbend? Was he getting one-upped right now? Why was Benrey’s heart beating so fast? Darnold nudged him and asked him if he was alright and Benrey just nodded.

Eventually, the concert was over and Black Mesa headed backstage. But Benrey wasn’t entirely paying attention to anything around him since he couldn’t stop thinking about Gordon smirking. It made him feel something and he wasn’t sure what or not he liked it. The end result of this was him staring at Gordon from his spot on the floor while Gordon radiated smug energy as he held a cold water bottle to his head and had his leg propped up on the armrest of the couch he sat on with a knee brace on. Benrey would make a joke about his knees not working but his own ears don’t work so he’d be one to talk.

Gordon seemed very proud of himself as he talked with everybody else, the conversation just passing over Benrey’s head as he got lost in thought. There were a lot of feelings to sort out but he decided that he’d just ignore them all. It’s an issue for another day.

Except it wasn’t. As Benrey was trying to fall asleep that night his thoughts were stuck on Gordon smirking at him and his messy hair and the lights coloring his skin in a gorgeous variety of colors and his heart pounding and everything around him melting into nothing as he just stared at Gordon. He didn’t know why it was all that was making him feel the way he did.

But he still hated that guy. That he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy pride everybody these two are so dumb and I love them so much


	5. Pure of heart. Dumb of ass. Home of sexual.

The Rivals Era, as fans of both Black Mesa and The Science Team, had called it had officially begun. And both bands were on tour. The fans on Gordons and Benrey’s various social media were living with all the new content and the clips from the others show only fueled the other more.

Like right now. Gordon was currently scrolling through his timeline and saw many clips of Benrey doing his now-famous backbend. But he didn’t wink for any of them. Which points Gordon towards the idea that the wink really had been only for him. Clearly as a way of showing off. That was the only conclusion that made sense. 

Gordon has also learned that Benrey takes his shirt off a lot when performing. And that he had top surgery scars. He knew cause he had similar scars. So both were trans which was cool he guessed. Benrey was still a dick though. He had no consistency. On stage, he would act like the center of the universe but all his tweets were just dumb nonsense at ungodly hours of the morning. 

God that guy got on his nerves like no other. Everything he did just irked him and the way his fans would… Fuck what was the slang for it? Thirst? Yeah, that was it. The way his fans would thirst over him was frankly ridiculous. Sure Benrey was a good looking guy but he sucked. He was so difficult to just be around let alone talk to.

Whatever Gordon needed to get rest he couldn’t stay up all night fussing about Benrey. It was pointless.

But that doesn’t mean it was for Benrey, who was looking through his dash and finding plenty of content about Gordon to seethe at as he looked at it rewatched a gif of Gordon lifting Tommy over and over and over again and feeling jealous but he couldn’t pinpoint why which bugged the everliving shit out of him. Him, Darnold, and Forzen were all hanging out in the living room area of their tour bus and the two lovebirds were leaning on each other, half asleep as Benrey sat opposite from them and looked at all the Gordon content he could to fuel himself with spite to make his next show even better than any of Gordon’s.

Until he stumbled upon something that took him out of it entirely. A fanfiction. He had heard about these before but wasn’t it a little weird to write one about a real person? Should he read it? He didn’t have to. As he stared at the title and the words (Gordon Freeman x Reader) his curiosity grew. No, reading it would be just as weird as having written it right? Like he hated the guy why would he imagine himself being in a relationship with him? Well... Just a peak couldn’t hurt, right? He could always just go back if he decided he didn’t like it. 

It turned out he liked it. It had been some time and Black Mesa had gone to bed. With the exception of Benrey who was just reading fics. He had found himself deep into some of these fics. Some of these people were amazing writers and it was very convenient that most of these used they instead of he or she for referencing the reader. He could see himself being into this. And could imagine himself with Gordon. Only in the context of the fanfictions of course. Why else would he ever think of that bitch like that? Yeah, this means nothing. He’s just enjoying reading for the first time since he was a child. 

Another day, another spot, another show, this was almost becoming routine for Gordon. He had taken to a few bad habits while on tour. Like late-night posting, checking what Benrey had done that he needed to one-up, and trying to figure out how a human bends the way he does. There’s no way in hell Benrey isn’t some weird alien or something cause no person can physically bend like that. Gordon just doesn’t believe it.

Gordon’s late-night tweets mostly consisted of missing Joshua and retweeting things he found funny. Usually, science puns cause he’s still a nerd. Just a nerd with a fanbase. 

… God his knee hurt. He had his brace on, propped his leg up, laid down, all of it but unfortunately, it continued to hurt. It wasn’t so bad he couldn’t move but it was more of a dull pain? He didn’t know how to explain it. It just hurt and it sucked. This usually happened when he had been a bit too active and dancing on stage almost night after night would definitely take a toll on it. God he’d have to wear his baggy jeans. He could fit his brace under those. He’d make it work. 

He was stuck on this train of thought until his phone buzzed with a notification. From Benrey. Great, he couldn’t get away from him. 

BlackMbenrey: sup dude. as you can tell by the name its benrey.

Science_Reject: Hey dude I’m assuming you know it’s Gordon since you texted me first. 

Science_Reject: Why did you text me?

BlackMbenrey: dunno man. just got bored and decided to talk to you. youre on tour to arent you?

Science_Recject: Yeah. To be honest? It kinda sucks. I miss my son. A friend of mine is watching him while I’m out.

BlackMbenrey: you have a kid?? youre a dad?

Science_Reject: Yeah! His name’s Joshua and he’s the cutest thing in the entire world.

Why did learning that Gordon has a son hurt? Benrey didn’t think he was married. That would’ve been something he mentioned right? He had never noticed Gordon wear a ring but it’s not like Benrey was good at taking note of small things like that. Why did he care? It’s not like it mattered to him. Why would it? Why would it feel like something in his chest was being squashed out like a bug? It doesn’t. It totally doesn’t. Benrey doesn’t even like kids. They’re gross and snotty and fragile. It isn’t making him cry. No not at all why would it?

Benrey took a deep breath and wiped his eyes and stared up at the ceiling of the tour bus roof that was actually fairly close to his face. Why did he suddenly want to be around Gordon? And why did this hurt? 

Benrey laid there for a while longer before checking his phone and seeing how late it was. He wiped his eyes and fell asleep, hoping that the fact that Gordon had a kid would hurt less when he was well-rested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my god! these bitches gay! good for them. good for them. also am I projecting onto Gordon? absolutely. its my au and I get to choose the projection.


	6. Rival tattwos </3 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is a pretty long chapter but I had so much fun writing it and I couldn't help myself dnjadjnsakd

Gordon kept checking his phone but all he got was a read receipt. Apparently the way to get Benrey to leave him alone was to mention his son. Well with Benrey suddenly not responding it was time to actually get some sleep.

Over the next two or so weeks, Gordon fell into a routine. New place, do a show, relax, chat with Benrey, sleep. Over _all_ his talks with Benrey, he slowly began to consider that maybe Benrey wasn’t awful but just had bad music taste. Like who _didn't_ like Linkin Park? Benrey and Gordon even sort of became friends? All their arguments weren’t filled with hate and anger and instead, they were just playful. 

Hell, their childhoods were similar! They both had a friend who they played with and was a girl and both of them and the friend wanted to be rockstars. They both wonder how the other’s doing. But Benrey had to move away from his friend and Gordon’s friend moved away. Yeah, it was a _bit_ weird how similar they were but hey as a kid wanting to be a rockstar is fairly common.

Both bands were meeting up after their tours to hang out (scheduled mostly by Tommy and Darnold but nobody really minded though Gordon and Benrey pretended they did). So that’s where they were currently. 

The bar had karaoke and a fair amount of patrons that night and didn’t mind the group pushing a couple of tables and chairs together to fit everybody. They talked and hung out. Bubby complained about being too old to tour and Coomer said something cute in response? Gordon wasn’t sure as he wasn’t really paying attention. But he did notice that Benrey seemed way different off stage. He almost seemed… Awkward? Gordon couldn’t pinpoint it.

As the night continued and more people took advantage of the karaoke option and everybody, aside from Forzen and Coomer who were each band’s designated drivers, got progressively drunker they started to do some singing as well. It started with Tommy and Darnold singing a cheesy love song for Forzen who seemed a little embarrassed but congratulated them and gave each man a kiss once they got back. It was sweet.

Bubby sang Doctor Feelgood. Which just fit him perfectly somehow. Coomer watched with love as his husband sang and proved why he was better on guitar than vocals. Eventually, after some quiet scheming and planning, Gordon and Benrey actually did a duet. And as everybody would tell them the next morning hearing the two of them sing Bring Me to Life together was infinitely entertaining. And what was even better was that they both nailed their parts. 

At some point, Gordon and Benrey broke off from the group to do their own thing which as they were both drunk and not known for making good decisions while sober was dangerous and bound to have a hilarious ending.

And oh boy did it.

Somehow the two found a tattoo parlor that would give them matching tattoos. The tattoo itself was a simple heart. Gordon and Benrey each got half of the whole heart on the side of their hands so that when they held hands it made the whole heart. The artist was nice enough to give them written instructions to go home with on how to care for their new tattoos.

The two got to Gordon’s apartment via cab since luckily Gordon had money on him. The two sat in the backseat, giggling to themselves and holding hands to look at their new tattoo. 

Once they were in Gordon’s apartment they decided to watch a shitty movie and ended up getting bored and really close and all tangled up in each other with their faces almost touching. They both stared at each other, eyes flicker to the other’s lips for brief moments before Gordon cupped Benrey’s cheek and pressed his forehead to the other’s, and softly asked. “Hey man… Can I uh kiss you?” Benrey noded and the two shared a soft and tentative kiss. 

They later watched a couple more movies and played a couple of video games together before they ended up falling asleep. Leaving that kiss to be something they both forgot in their drunken night together, leaving no awkwardness in the morning.

Benrey woke up first. And he woke up on top of Gordon. On Gordon’s couch. In Gordon’s apartment. 

… God Gordon snores really loudly. And Benrey’s head and hand hurt. But he couldn’t get up and see if Gordon had any Advil or anything since he was literally on top of him and had no clue if he was a light sleeper or not. He looked around from his spot on top of Gordon, trying to move as little as possible and saw a dog bed. With a dog in it. Gordon never mentioned having a dog. 

Speaking of Gordon he looked really calm as he slept. His brows that were usually furrowed were just… Hanging out. He looked relaxed. And he didn’t mind being here as much. 

Benrey’s hand continued to ache worse than his head so he decided to take a look at it to make sure he didn’t cut it on accident like he had that one time back in college. Actually funny story about that- oh fuck. Oh, fuck what was that? Oh fuck. When did he get a tattoo?

Think, Benrey, think! What did he remember from last night? He remembered singing karaoke with Gordon, sneaking off with Gordon, and… Gordon smiling. Why had he been smiling? Why did all of the memories involve Gordon? And why did Benrey feel so warm? He was usually freezing when he woke up. Was Gordon just insanely warm? Whatever Benrey was comfy. And he didn’t exactly mind sleeping on his “sworn enemy”. 

Oh, fuck right the tattoo. He tried to see if Gordon had the other half but the man’s arms were wrapped around him so he couldn’t really see.

Gordon had been awake for a few minutes now but kept his eyes closed. His head pounded and his hand ached for some reason. Also, something fairly weighty was on his chest. He took a peek and quickly shut his eyes when he recognized what or really _who_ was on his chest. 

He didn’t know if Benrey was awake or not but he knew that he was cuddling Benrey. And that Benrey felt cold to the touch so he’d stay there a little longer to keep Benrey warm. Yeah, that was it. 

… Shit, he had to feed Joshua what time was it? Gordon pretended to be waking up as he slowly removed his arms from Benrey and grabbed his phone which was still in his pocket and somehow still had a charge on it. Oh, fuck it was way past Joshua’s breakfast. He was probably starving. How was he supposed to get up and not wake Benrey if he wasn’t already awake? He also had a ton of messages from the people they were with last night. He could get to those later. Joshua was a now issue. 

As Gordon turned off his phone and put it on the side table behind his head he looked at his hand and saw half a heart. What the fuck. He could only assume Benrey had the other half since he is currently sleeping on top of him after all. 

Benrey noticed that Gordon moved which meant he was awake now so it was safe to move around. So he did and looked at Gordon first. Now that he was this close he noticed that Gordon’s eyes were different colors. His left eye was green. A deep, beautiful green. His right eye was brown but not just brown more of an orangeish brown. Amber, that’s the name of that color. Amber. It wasn’t obvious from afar that they were different but they were still beautiful. Benrey wonders how he never noticed before. “Mornin’ dude…” He made a show of rubbing his eyes and yawning as he stared at Gordon. 

“Uh yeah good morning dude…” This was an awkward situation for Gordon. He wasn’t used to waking up with people after a night of drinking. Benrey however seemed perfectly content. He sat up between Gordon’s legs and stretched. Gordon also sat up and immediately checked on Joshua. 

Benrey watched as Gordon raced over to the dog in the dog bed, calling it pet names and apologizing for various things. Benrey continued to watch curiously as Gordon raced around to feed the dog he assumed given that Gordon was grabbing a dog bowl. 

Gordon stood in front of him with an awkward smile. “Sorry I had to feed Joshua. Do you uh- do you want breakfast? I can probably make like pancakes or something real quick…” He seemed fidgety and Benrey nodded. Looks like they just weren’t going to talk about the tattoos. “Sure sounds good. Hey bro where do you keep your fuckin’ uh… Advil. Where’s that at?” Gordon stretched and rubbed his forehead as it gave a slight throb as if to remind him that he was still in pain. “Uh, down the hall to the left, the mirror’s also a medicine cabinet. Can you get me some too?” Benrey nodded as they both went off to do their tasks.

While in the bathroom Benrey texted Forzen back who had been blowing up his phone to make sure he was alright. He made the mistake of mentioning that he was at Gordon’s place in his attempts to reassure him. Forzen, of course, teased him about it as he got four pills. Two for Gordon and two for himself. He went out into the kitchen where he found Gordon and found a mug of coffee with a little container of sugar and a milk jug next to it. Gordon was mixing up the pancake batter as he looked over at Benrey. “I figured you’d want some coffee to help with the hangover but I didn’t know if you liked sugar and milk in your coffee or not.” Gordon smiled sheepishly and went back to focusing on the batter as Benrey felt his heart beat a little faster and felt his face get warmer as he made his coffee how he liked it and used it to take the pain killers. 

Benrey handed Gordon the pills when he had a moment and took them with water like a normal person. Gordon cooked in silence as Benrey stared at his tattoo. 

Gordon couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to burst if they didn’t talk about last night. While one of the pancakes cooked he looked over at Benrey. “So…” Benrey looked up at him from touching the plastic over his tattoo. “So.” He said right back. There was no hostility in the air. Just… Tension. “We both have half of a heart on our hands right?” Benrey nodded. “What are we going to say about this? What will our fans, the media, fuck even our friends think about this?” He started pacing, only pausing to flip the pancake that was cooking and it ended up being the last one. Benrey watched and shrugged. “Dunno dude. Maybe we should hold hands about it.” Benrey smirked. 

Before Gordon could say anything about that Joshua barked. Gordon lightly told him off before calling him over and giving him the first pancake he had made. It was messed up anyway. And this wasn’t good training but Joshua was such a good boy he deserved it. “Oh, Benrey by the way this is Joshua. My precious baby boy.” Gordon smiled as he pet the dog.

Was Joshua a dog this whole time? Had Benrey been upset over a fucking dog? Seriously? “That’s your son? Dude I thought you had like an actual snot machine mini-you child.” Gordon laughed and shook his head. “No! No way dude! I could never take care of an actual child. I love Joshie like he’s my own son. He’s an Australian Shepard by the way. He likes the heard his toys.” Joshua’s tail wagged so fast as he went from Gordon to Benrey and sat in front of him. Benrey let Joshua sniff his hand then pet him and just as Gordon got out things to put on the pancakes and handed Benrey a plate and set his own down there was a knock on the door. Gordon groaned and told Benrey where the silverware was before he answered the door. 

Frozen, Tommy, Darnold, Bubby, and Coomer were all there. Why were they all here? He didn’t invite them and he was pretty sure Benrey didn’t either. Before he could ask questions Bubby wormed his way in and everybody else took that as their cue to go ahead. So both Black Mesa and The Science Team were here. In his apartment. Joshua raced from the table where Benrey was sat eating his pancakes straight to Tommy. 

Joshua got attention from everybody before he sat back at Benrey’s feet and stared up at him. “So what- what brings you guys here?” Gordon sighed and Bubby quickly piped up. “We wanted to make sure you two idiots weren’t dead. You two fucking ran off and then didn’t text any of us.” Bubby crossed his arms and huffed as Gordon softly chuckled. “Almost sounds like you were concerned, Gramps.” Gordon teased as Bubby flipped him off and Coomer chuckled. “We did want to check in on you two. It was Forzen’s idea though. Me and Bubby just tagged along.” He smiled.

As Gordon chatted with everybody about last night he ran his hand through his hair and it seemed to catch Forzen’s eyes whose then darted to Benrey. All conversation was interrupted as Forzen burst out laughing. Gordon wasn’t sure he had ever heard him laugh before but the man was currently losing it. Everybody was confused but as he pointed to Gordon and Benrey’s hands it clicked for Gordon.

Frozen saw the tattoos.

Gordon hid his hand behind his back which of course made everyone else suspicious as Forzen’s loud laughter and desperate attempt at explaining what was so funny caught Tommy’s eye and he gasped. Frozen was doubling over with laughter that had turned from really loud and gruff to a quiet and tiny hiccupy laugh that still had some edge to it while he tried to cover his mouth. His face was red as he tried to compose himself but failed. 

Tommy told Darnold what happened and Darnold couldn’t stop himself as he asked. “Gordon did you and Benrey get matching tattoos?” Gordon’s face flushed with embarrassment and as he nodded and Bubby got his arm out from behind his back and started cackling as well as he saw the tattoo. Benrey was also embarrassed but just kept his head down in the pancakes on his plate to avoid looking as he showed his side of the tattoo. Everybody was laughing except for Gordon and Benrey. 

“Young love is beautiful!” Coomer smiled between giggles as Gordon sputtered to prove him wrong Benrey spoke up instead. “We didn’t get them cause we like each other we got ‘em cause… Cause uh… Cause we’re such- such great rivals.” 

That did not help the situation at all and just made Forzen laugh harder. At some point, he started wheezing and struggling to breathe. 

Eventually, everybody went home and it was just Gordon and Benrey again. Joshua seemed to warm up to Benrey and the two were watching movies in complete silence. Benrey had said he didn’t want to go home cause he didn’t want to be alone and if Gordon was honest? He didn’t want to be either. They both just quietly agreed to not talk about them holding hands while sitting on opposite sides of the couch. Gordon was actually a little glad he couldn’t get rid of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay asses <3 hope you enjoyed as always my Tumblr is gordosfeetman, happy pride, and black lives matter <3


	7. I cant believe The Skeleton's homophobic. fucked if true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY THIS CHAPTER ENDED UP BEING LONGER THAN NORMAL DCNHAXDJSNSAM ITS VERY GAY SO LIKE HAPPY PRIDE

It had been a while since what was dubbed the “rivals tattoo incident” by Gordon and Benrey and dubbed the “drunk gay idiots story” by Forzen. Which was fair. 

Gordon had realized that while Benrey wasn’t as bad as he first thought he was also much more… Attractive than originally thought as well. Gordon had a crush. He hated it. It made all the winking at Black Mesa concerts _much_ more intense. And he wasn’t sure if he was just hopeful or looking into it too much but he could’ve sworn that Benrey was flirting with him back.

But he didn’t want to come on to forward so he gave little hints that he liked Benrey. Like Gordon had written a few songs about him but kept it really subtle and when he performed them he’d make sure to smile at Benrey. 

But tonight’s show was different. It was warm that evening and Gordon had worked up a sweat. So in between songs he took a drink of water as Tommy kept the crowd entertained. He told them a short story about Sunkist and of course, they loved it. Everybody loved Sunkist. She was the perfect dog.

Once Gordon was near the mic again he wiped his forehead off with the bottom of his shirt and got a cheer from the crowd which made him pause and let his shirt go. The crowd made a variety of noises but mostly disappointed ones. Odd. He was startled by the cheering and didn’t even get to wipe the sweat off. So he lifted up the bottom of his shirt and got another cheer and it clicked.

Right he sorta has abs. And most people think those are attractive. 

He wiped off the sweat before he leaned into the mic and asked, mostly joking. “Do you guys want me to take my shirt off?” But the yells from the crowd are so loud and excited he actually considers it for longer than he should. He looks back at the rest of the band and Tommy’s clearly trying not to laugh, Coomer looks like he’s about to play something and Bubby moves from his spot to use Tommy’s mic to call him a whore and make sure everybody hears. Gordon starts laughing and the audience is just waiting expectantly. 

And once Gordon’s over his laughing fit he actually does it. He actually takes off his shirt and puts it closer to the side of the stage where nobody would step on it or anything and the crowd absolutely loses it. You’d think Gordon had just performed the most impressive physical feat but no he had only taken off his shirt. And Gordon’s laughing fit started right back up again as Coomer played a certain intro theme on a certain website.

Meanwhile, in the audience, Benrey was also losing it but not like everybody else was no. Him, Forzen, and Darnold were there like usual and Benrey felt like he was having a religious experience. They were placed in the front row so Benrey had a clear view of a show that would be talked about for a while. 

He was leaning on the guard rail and trying to catch his breath. Forzen made sure he was okay before making fun of him and eventually the moment passed but for the rest of the show Gordon was shirtless. You would think that this would mean nothing to Benrey since he rarely had a shirt on while performing but it hit different when Gordon didn’t have a shirt. 

He noticed a few things. Like that Gordon had top surgery scars like he did and that he had a faint white line all the way around his forearm like a line on a paper that you’re supposed to cut along. Benrey couldn’t even focus on the music as he stared at Gordon.

He didn’t even realize he was singing along until Gordon was crouched at the edge of the stage, interacting with fans as he sang and when Gordon and Benrey’s eyes met Gordon smirked. Benrey’s heart started pounding and his face flushed and he wished this show would never end.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. But lucky for Benrey he could go backstage. So he and his friends “snuck” backstage. It really just meant that the three of them tried to avoid any security and get anyone from the band to let them in. And it almost didn’t work when Forzen tried to tease Benrey for what happened during the show but Darnold shut him up then they got to the door and Bubby urged them inside.

Gordon looked peaceful and relaxed and he actually smiled at Benrey as their eyes met. Gordon motioned him over and who was Benrey to say no? Benrey sat down on the couch next to Gordon and tried to look as relaxed as possible. “Uh, good- good show tonight man.” Gordon actually laughed and lightly hit Benrey’s shoulder in a friendly manner and Benrey gave a soft smile in response.

The two had their own private conversation for a while before The Science Team had to go do meet and greets and stuff like that. While they were gone Forzen took his opportunity to strike. 

“You and Gordon are pretty close huh? Might even be considered friends now. But with the way you were staring at him during the show, I wouldn’t be surprised if you two were secretly more than that.” Forzen had a shit-eating grin and Darnold only encouraged him by laughing. The comment got Forzen a throw pillow to the face. “At least I’m not French.” Frozen huffed and flipped Benrey off. “I’m _Canadian_ you American prick.” Benrey stuck his tongue out back at Forzen.

This friendly bullying between Forzen and Benrey with the occasional comment from Darnold continued until The Science Team got back and Forzen and Benrey settled for making faces at each other.

The conversation between Gordon and benrey picked right back up where it left off and as closing time got closer and they had to leave Benrey was trying to find the words he decided to scrap anything resembling a plan and just talk. It didn’t usually end well for him but it was worth a shot. 

“Hey bro do you uh- you wanna maybe… Uh maybe come back to mine? Uh, my place I mean. We could play some PlayStation. Got some good games recently.” Benrey wasn’t obviously nervous but he did look a little tense. 

But what he and Gordon couldn’t see was the other members of the bands looking at each other with various surprised expressions. Forzen looked like he was holding back laughter but as soon as the two had left he started snickering before he started actually laughing. 

Soon enough Gordon and Benrey made it back to Benrey’s place and suddenly Benrey wished he had cleaned. It’s not like his apartment was especially gross but there were definitely cups and cans just laying around and he doesn’t remember the last time he actually like mopped or anything. “I’ll set up the PlayStation bro. Uh, get a snack or something. I should have something in the kitchen.” 

Gordon notices how very… _Benrey_ Benrey’s apartment is. It’s messy but somehow still organized. Benrey was truly an anomaly. As Gordon walked into the kitchen he notices a faint whirring sound and looks down to see a Roomba. Okay cool. Oh, it has a little skull painted on the back. Neat. Gordon decides to check out the fridge and finds typical bachelor food like hot pockets, pizza rolls, frozen pizzas. Those are normal and he doesn’t have an issue with those. 

But he does find himself a little troubled by the mac and Cheetos. He had them once and they weren’t really that good but the fact that Benrey likes them should put him off but unfortunately, Gordon finds himself still crushing on Benrey. 

The soft whirring of the Roomba turns to a noise that can only be described as the screams of the damned condensed into a little vacuum. Gordon turns to look and finds the Roomba darting for him like it has a personal vengeance against him. He’s confused at first as any normal person would be in his position and before it can slam into his feet at high speed he steps out of its way.

The Roomba then turned around and went for his feet again. What was up with this fucking thing? Gordon continued to step out of its way and decided to just get some chips for him and Benrey. He grabbed the family-sized bag of Doritos and went out into the living room but the Roomba was still at his heels. And bumping into them. It wasn’t like it hurt but it was annoying.

But the Roomba stopped once Gordon was close to Benrey. It went back to making normal Roomba sounds and left Gordon alone.

What the fuck? “Hey, Benrey, man your Roomba’s weird. It was making weird noises and kept like attacking my feet. Do you know anything about that?”

Benrey looked up at Gordon from the pile of games he had surrounded himself in and thought before he spoke. “Oh, that’s The Skeleton. He’s usually chill. Guess your vibes are just bad man.” Benrey looked through the games and picked one out. “How do you feel about this one?” Gordon decided to brush the incident off and soon the two started playing games on Benrey’s old Playstation.

After a few hours, the two had switched to watching some show they were only half paying attention to. It was supposed to be good but it wasn’t holding either of their eyes. They were both staring at their hands which were so close to touching and that meant they were so close to holding hands. 

Gordon actually made a move by gently taking Benrey’s hand in his own and Benrey took it a step further by intertwining their fingers. Gordon decided to one-up him by moving to sit closer to Benrey and Benrey shot right back by leaning on him. This continued until Gordon’s free hand was on Benrey’s cheek and their faces were inches away from each other and Gordon could notice how much softer Benrey looked without his stage makeup.

They were both staring at each other, the emotions between them just building as Gordon inched just a bit closer and glanced at Benrey’s lips. Benrey had a smug sort of smile on his face but honestly when didn’t he? It was a trait Gordon hated at first but grew to love. And just before either of them could make the final move The Skeleton started using its “sweet voice” which startled both of them and made both boys pull away and look to the floor. Gordon stared at the Romba for a few seconds before he started laughing. The situation was kinda funny after all.

By the time they tired it was early in the morning and Benrey had convinced Gordon to stay the night without thinking. So here was Benrey and Gordon in Benrey’s room with almost had a solid layer of clothes as flooring and more cans and cups scattered about. 

And only one bed.

“You can take the bed. You’re the guest after all dude. I can sleep on the couch.” Benrey offered as Gordon shook his head. “No man it’s your bed I can stay on the couch.” This continued back and forth with Benrey telling Gordon to take the bed and Gordon refusing before Gordon came up with something. “Look why don’t we just share the bed? Like if it’s just for the night it doesn’t have to mean anything.” Benrey thought about it for a minute and nodded. “That works. If you wanna borrow some clothes to sleep in I probably have something.” Gordon smiled and nodded. “That sounds nice actually.”

It wasn’t nice actually cause Benrey’s bed was small and he slept shirtless which was distracting and he was just so cold. How one person could be that cold baffled Gordon. He was wearing one of Benrey’s tanktops that was actually just a little small on him. It wasn’t tight but it definitely came up a little short. As did the pants that Benrey had laying around. Their backs were pressed right up against each other and it took forever for Gordon to actually fall asleep given the circumstances.

Benrey woke up first. And he woke up cuddled to Gordon’s chest. Gordon was holding him close and he wasn’t about to move away. Gordon was also super warm. It would be… Realy easy… For Benrey to just… Fall back asleep…

Gordon woke up first. With Benrey cuddled up to him and held close. But he didn’t want to move and disturb Benrey. He looked so peaceful as he slept. What little light that could get through the closed blinds, shining on his face that really just made him… Glow. Gordon gently moved a stray piece of hair away from Benrey’s face and froze when the other began shifting. So much for not wanting to wake him up.

Benrey yawned as he rubbed his eyes and nuzzled into the heat source next to him. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Gordon whose face was bright red and a bit nervous looking. Benrey noticed that they were cuddled and Benrey gave a light chuckle “Look who got lonely during the night. Almost like you have a crush on me.” Benrey’s voice was a bit gravely from just waking up and it made Gordon’s heart flutter. Gordon rolled his eyes and cupped Benrey’s cheek, remembering last night when he had done the same move. “And what if I did? What would you say to that?”

Benrey stared into Gordon’s eyes, memorizing the difference in each other the colors, and how they looked at him. “I’d ask you if you wanted to kiss about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the skeleton is a problematic fave. i love it despite its homophobia. i love writing this fic so much and the skeleton is part of why


	8. Is it gay to kiss your rival good morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big thanks to my friends in the hlvrai god bless server for becoming background characters in this fic :-) also big thanks to the server as a whole cause without it I wouldn't have come up with this au let alone write the fic :-)

_Benrey stared into Gordon’s eyes, memorizing the difference in each other the colors, and how they looked at him. “I’d ask you if you wanted to kiss about it.”_

Silence weighed over the two as the potential behind both of their words lingered. 

Before Gordon spoke because he hated silence. “Would you want to kiss?” Gordon was being quiet since they were right next to each other and their face were once again only inches apart.

“Huh? What did you say?” Benrey moved his hair away from his ears and Gordon tried again, heart pounding from just the thought of this working out in his favor. “I asked if you-” Benrey stopped him and sat up and got his hearing aids off his messy nightstand. “Gimmie a minute. Should probably put my ears in. It’ll make things a lot easier.” Once his hearing aids were in he got right back where he had been before and even put Gordon’s hand back on his cheek. “You were saying?” Gordon could help but giggle over the situation and a bit from nervousness.

“I asked if you would want to kiss.” Gordon smiled softly as Benrey seemed to process this question before the other responded by closing the distance between them and having their lips meet. It’s sweet and… Familiar? That didn’t make sense but it didn’t matter. 

Gordon was shocked at first, not entirely expecting Benrey to just up and kiss him but he wasn’t opposed. He quickly melted into the kiss as he held Benrey close and felt the other’s hands make their way into his hair and begin to play with it.

When they both pulled away to breathe Benrey’s hands remained in Gordon’s hair and Gordon’s hand stayed on Benrey’s cheek. Benrey’s usually relaxed but smug smile was replaced by an excited grin. Gordon chuckled softly and just admired Benrey for a bit. Until the fucking Roomba started making fucked up and evil noises from the living room and startled him but Benrey seemed unaffected. 

Benrey ran his fingers through Gordon’s hair and watched as the curls in the other’s hair bounce and twirl. He smiles softly and runs his fingers over Gordon’s undercut and just admires Gordon. The strips of sunlight coming in from the window laid on his back and just barely made it over his side and perfectly highlighted his faint freckles. Song lyrics ran through Benrey’s head about this single scene of him and Gordon alone, enough to fill an album. 

Gordon kissed Benrey’s forehead and reached over him for his glasses and phone. Luckily Benrey had a spare charger so his phone didn’t die which was cool. Gordon turned on his phone to find a flood of notifications from fans and friends and as he sat up and began to read through them he only found more. Jesus, what was going on?

Oh shit.

Okay. This is. The exact opposite of what he wanted to happen.

So people saw his birthmark from the show last night. Apparently, the makeup had rubbed off onstage. Shit. Well, he guesses there’s no point hiding it anymore. People were also freaking out about him having taken off his shirt but that’s different. Gordon groaned and Benrey curiously looked between him and the phone. “What’s up?” Benrey has already taken his hands out of Gordon’s hair and moved them to be around the other as he rested his head on his chest. Gordon put his phone down and squeezed Benrey a bit to get him as close as possible. “People found out about my birthmark last night. They’re making a big deal about it which is the opposite of what I wanted.” 

Benrey would be lying if he said that being this close to Gordon didn’t make him feel like a soda can that somebody shook before opening. But that wasn’t really the issue here. “Tell them what it is bro. Maybe they’ll stop being cringe and worrying about it.” Benrey shrugged as Gordon picked his phone back up. “I was actually planning on that. Hopefully, they won’t keep making this an issue.” Benrey just laid there as Gordon typed out whatever it was he needed. 

Until Gordon made a startling noise and benrey looked up at him “You alright man?” Gordon nodded and typed something out on his phone. Benrey took note of Gordon’s light pink cheeks and smiled to himself. He grabbed his phone and checked it and.

God fucking damn it Forzen.

Forzen had texted him but instead of being about like something, he saw in a game or something one of his boyfriends had done it was Forzen making fun of him for hanging out with Gordon, among other things to which Benrey did his best to make fun of Forzen right back. Being childhood friends with Forzen made it really easy to make fun of him. 

Once Gordon was done talking to his friends and bandmates and tried to get them to stop thinking anything happened between him and Benrey to no avail. And then for the first time really he thought about the kiss. Did this mean that they were dating now? Was there such thing as a kiss between… Fuck were they friends? Were they still technically rivals? Were they boyfriends? Like they kissed and were currently cuddling which is definitely not just friendly activities. Had everything they’d done since they met been flirting? So many questions and no answers. Maybe he and Benrey could have like an actual conversation about this. But knowing Benrey probably not.

Gordon looked at the various tweets flooding his notifications such as:

**jay is gay** _@lesbiansimping_  
yooooo i cant fucking believe @Science_Reject comes with lore

 **uh oh gay thoughts** _@ljneko_  
bbbbbro did yall know that @Science_Reject got a fuckin scar?

 **bro i am just si** _@ursatattoo_  
have yall seen @Science_Rejects scar??

 **forzen... :eyes:** _@forzenlover1994_  
normally im all about frozen but like…. @Science_Reject ???? not too hard on the eyes…… especially with that scar…. Dude whats the lore

 **antman bad actually** _@jodiexists_  
whats going on???? I wake up and my feed is full of @Science_Reject pics??? 

**mothman is my boyfriend** _@cryptid_dating_  
guys……... gordon do be looking a little hot with that scar though……. Last night’s show was crazy!!!! Awesome show @Science_Reject !!!!!!! 

Sigh… Being a somewhat well-known rockstar had its downfalls. It’s not like this was career-ending but it definitely isn’t what he wanted. The last tweet was… Nice though. He could appreciate that.

Gordon looked away from his phone when he noticed Benrey squirming around in his arms and of course let go of him. Benrey sat up and put his phone back on the nightstand. “Bro I’m hungry. Let’s go get some fuckin’ uhh breakfast. There’s a place nearby that makes epic hashbrowns.” Gordon sits up and stretches first before he speaks. “Yeah sure. Can we talk before we go anywhere though?”


	9. You know that gays meeting for brunch meme? yeah that.

Oh no. Wanting to talk wasn’t usually a good sign. Gordon wouldn’t mess with him like that, would he? Wouldn’t cuddle him and kiss him and seem to enjoy the time they spent together just to break his heart right?

“Uh look Benrey I don’t know how else to say this I’ve always been fairly straight forward about my feelings and well we kissed like a few minutes ago so I was wondering if we were dating now? Like if you don’t want to and just wanna do a friends or rivals with benefits type thing I don’t know how I’d feel about that but like I understand if you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship especially over all the fuss we’ve made about hating each other-” Gordon was cut off by Benrey taking his pillow and putting it over his face with a light chuckle. “Bro you’re rambling. Shut up a second.” Benrey takes the pillow off Gordon’s face and gives him a classic smug look. “Dude. I like you. Not just anybody gets to come to my place. Especially not just any fan.” He teased and winks, smirking a little like he normally does on stage. 

Gordon sputters as he tries to come up with a response. First, Benrey liked him back. Second, Gordon totally wasn’t a fan of Benrey’s music pshh no. Don’t look at his recently played on Spotify. Benrey just watches him for a minute before Gordon manages to weave some words together to make something that sounded like a sentence. “I-I’m not a fan of your music! You wish! Hold on- we were at _my_ concert last night. If anything you’re the fan,” As Gordon thought about the show last night he remembered a detail that would probably make Benrey feel the way he did right now. “I saw you staring last night. Couldn’t get your eyes off me huh?” Gordon wasn’t smirking but he did have a smile that just shined with smugness. Benrey’s cheeks went just a bit pink as he looked away and rolled his eyes with a dismissive noise. “No, I wasn’t. You wish.” Gordon chuckled before he realized they were getting off-topic to which he cleared his throat and held Benrey’s hands. Benrey looked back at Gordon and their hands. 

“You’re really good at distracting me. Stop that. But anyway as I was saying… Would you like to be boyfriends?” Gordon watched Benrey as the other man stared at their hands and even squeezed Gordon’s hands back as if that was a response. Benrey took a deep breath and nodded and spoke. 

“Yeah, yeah that’d be- that’d be super epic man. If we were- were uh boyfriends.” Benrey smiled, a real, genuine, and soft smile. One that just struck Gordon’s heart and made it swell as he got a smile of his own. “Cool. That’s really cool.” The two sat in a comfortable silence, still holding hands and smiling. Before Gordon’s stomach growls and the two are reminded of why they had sat up in the first place. “Let’s go get some fuckin’ uhh,” Benrey pauses to check the time on his phone. “Brunch. Those rad hashbrowns are still on the table bro.” Gordon chuckles softly and nods. “Yeah, that actually sounds good.” Gordon gets out of bed and stretches and gasps as he remembers. “Oh, I had a friend watching Joshua for me last night and they’re probably gone by now. Can we stop by my place before we get food so I can feed Josh? It’ll be real quick and I can change into some of my own clothes.”

Benrey wasn’t paying attention to what Gordon was saying as just a little bit of Gordon’s midriff was on display as the man stood and stretched but it was enough to distract Benrey. When Gordon looked back at him he cleared his throat and nodded. “Sure sounds good. So we’re uhh stoppin’ by your place before we go on an epic brunch date?” Gordon nodded and smiled softly.

Gordon was still wearing Benrey’s clothes when they got to Gordon’s place. And as much as he hated to admit it he thought he looked pretty good in them. Aside from them being a bit too short he didn’t hate the slightly tight fit. 

Gordon unlocked the door and let Benrey in first, who was almost immediately rushed by Joshua. Josh wasn’t a big dog but he did have a lot of energy and Benrey was currently experiencing that first hand. Gordon laughed as he closed the door behind him and watched the two for a bit as he went to go make Joshua’s breakfast.

Benrey didn’t have a dog growing up and neither did any of his friends aside from the one girl he had a crush on but had to leave. So Benrey wasn’t too fond of the energy that puppies had. Especially Joshua. Once Joshua seemed relatively calm Benrey sat down on the floor and Joshua jumped into his lap, nearly knocking him back. Joshua licked at his face, making Benrey laugh a bit and try to keep the dog’s tongue off his mouth. Joshua only got off of him when Gordon whistled loudly and put down his bowl. Gordon found Benrey and chuckled, helping him up and telling him to wait.

Gordon came out dressed in a casual band t-shirt, flannel over it, and ripped jeans that weren’t bought that way, and some scuffed up boots. Benrey quickly took note of this and the fact that Gordon’s hair was up in a braid so his undercut was on full display. Why was this man so hot. It’s unfair. What Benrey didn’t notice was the lint roller in Gordon’s hand or the dog fur all over his own clothes. At least he didn’t notice it until Gordon held it out to him. 

“Sorry uh, Josh sheds a lot. Bad day to wear black huh? Go roll yourself off in the bathroom.” Benrey looked down at his own black jeans that were absolutely covered in white and grey fur. He agreed and took the lint roller into the bathroom where he got off as much fur as he could. And as he was doing so he stopped. He could have sworn he heard Gordon singing. Well, they’re both singers and have music out on various sites, of course, he could hear him sing but why and why did it feel so special? 

Gordon was singing. Just an absent-minded little tune as he drummed out a little beat on his legs while he waited for Benrey. Unknown to most Gordon could actually play the drums. Not near as well as Coomer or Forzen but he could probably get by if he had to play one of his own songs. It was just a little habit he picked up and didn’t bother to let go of. Plus knowing how to play made it easier to write songs. 

Gordon quickly stopped drumming and singing when he heard the bathroom door squeak shut. Benrey came out with much less fur on his clothes and Gordon stood up, making sure he had everything on him. “You ready to go? You wanna drive or should I?” Benrey nodded and pulled out his keys with a little mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’ll drive. I know the place after all.” 

Gordon suddenly felt less confident in Benrey driving.

Okay so Benrey didn’t get in a wreck on the way to the diner he was talking about but he was definitely speeding and hit the brakes a bit too hard on a red light he swore he could make and Gordon wasn’t sure he _did't_ have whiplash.

As Gordon complained and Benrey simply brushed it off they sat down at a booth and began to look at their menus they were interrupted by none other than Coomer and Bubby. Coomer was dressed up. Like he was wearing a sundress and Gordon was pretty sure he had curled his hair. Bubby was dressed like a college professor. But like an evil one. Coomer noticed Gordon and Benrey first and smiled and dragged Bubby over to them with a smile. “Hello, Gordon! Nice to see you this late morning! You as well Benrey! You two look so nice.” Gordon was just casual as mentioned earlier and Benrey had purposely thrown on his most annoying patterned and color button up.

The two older men sat with Gordon and Benrey and had apparently decided they’d all be having brunch together. Which was fine Gordon guessed? Benrey didn’t seem to bummed at least.

“So why are you, two gay idiots out and about?” Ah yes. Bubby with the pleasantries as always. Gordon was going to try and be more discreet about it but instead, Benrey spoke first. “First official date. You know how it goes.” Coomer grinned and clapped his hands. “Young love is beautiful! We could make it a double date! I’m so happy for you two!” Bubby rolled his eyes but there was so much affection in his gaze as he looked at Coomer it was almost sickening. Gordon smiled as he looked at Benrey who sat across from him and nudged his foot.

Soon the gang ordered, ate, chat, Gordon, and Benrey got mildly and lovingly insulted by Bubby, paid and left and each couple went their own separate ways. 

All in all. A good day. And he had a good time with Benrey. Those hashbrowns were actually really good. Benrey had dropped Gordon off at home and he currently sat on his couch with Joshua on his lap, recounting the day he had and smiled to himself, butterflies in his stomach, and song lyrics running through his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: i roginally said that there was more which is true but also a lie. i might write another drabble for this au later on but for now this is the end of the main story. :-) hit me up on Tumblr @gordosfreeman to yell about the au in my inbox


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